Oirish

Hard to know how to follow that last post...
But here goes, because this experience was pretty surreal too.
Oirish pubs abroad.They are generally quite bad. Although there was a trend a few years ago for making the bars that were actually in Ireland look more Oirish. What's the point? You're standing in Ireland right now. There's no need for nostalgia. I felt that they were really false, and you sort of felt like you were on a film set or something when you were in one.


The best one ever, though, was in Perth in Western Australia. A work colleague said I would like it.
"What's it called?" I asked him.
"Fenians"
"What's it called?!"
"Fenians."
I thought " I bet there aren't any pubs IN Ireland called that!"
So we went one Friday after work, because he said they did a good pint of Guinness, and to be fair to them, the Guinness wasn't bad.
But you should have seen the hack of the place. It was like Disneyland Ireland, and there was a band singing rebel songs, and a strange assortment of characters dressed in tweed suits and hats. This was in the summer time. It was easily thirty five degrees outside.
So anyway, I got a pint of Guinness, and then this guy comes up to me and says, "So where are you from?"
"I'm actually from Ireland.", I say.
"Aye. Wherabouts?"
I start to get worried at this point, because he says it in a rather threatening way.
"Em. I'm from Newtownabbey, just outside Belfast. Do you know it?"
He looks scornfully at me and says, " Aye. Rathcoole?" Before I can explain that I don't actually come from Rathcoole, be turns and walks away to the other side of the bar, where he glares menacingly at me.
I couldn't believe it. I was thinking, "I came half way round the world to get away from this sort of thing." Then I notice that he is talking to some of his tweed-clad friends, and they are looking at me too. So I got out of there as quickly as possible.
That's a completely true story. It was twenty one years ago, so I don't know what "Fenians" is like now, or even if it is still there. It might be. It was certainly doing a roaring trade the day I was in there. So if you are ever in Perth, go and have a look. But if anyone asks you where you're from, just pretend you're Australian. Or from the Falls.