Larne versus Bora Bora

Let's go over live now to our commentary team, Jackie Fulerton and Michael Dunn.

Jackie: Thanks, Mark. Well the teams are lining up, and it looks like Bora Bora are going for a four three three formation, which is the kind of attacking line-up that reflects their confidence coming into this contest.

Michael: Absolutely Jackie. I mean, Larne is a great town, with many shops, and, er, roads leading out of it, but they just don't have the quality in-depth that Bora Bora have a consistent reputation for.

Jackie: Do you think it was the right decision for Larne to go with a lone striker?

Michael: Well, Jackie, they really don't have a lot of other options. The fact that there is a ferry-port to Stranraer, is really Larne's strongest point. If they had the unspoilt beaches, the luxury hotels, the nice weather and the friendly people that Bora Bora have, they might be able to afford to be a little more adventurous in the attacking third of the field.

Jackie: So, yes, then?

Michael: Yes.

Jackie: Well, five minutes gone and it is a cagey affair so far. Neither side seems willing to take the game to the other.

Michael: You're absolutely right, Jackie. But you do have to say that Larne's grim, soulless housing estates have stood up well under the pressure from Bora Bora's exclusive and breath-taking resort hotels.

Jackie: You certainly do. And look at this. Can you believe it? Larne have opened a wine-bar!

Michael: Absolutely amazing, Jackie. Who would have thought we would have seen it in our lifetime? People were skeptical when the management opened a tourist information centre, but this move is quite unprecedented.

Jackie: And in the middle of a recession too.

Michael: And in the middle of a recession too. What were the odds on that, Jackie? 25 to 1?

Jackie: 25 to 1.

Oh, there's been a development. Half the Larne side have been sent off for bigotry!

Michael: That was totally blatant, Jackie. There's no place for that in the modern game, and I applaude the referee for stamping down on it.

Jackie: But were you not saying yesterday that you would prove that Larne is better than Bora Bora?

Michael: I did, Jackie. I did. But now I have revised my point of view in regard to that subject, and

Jackie: Sorry to interrupt you there Michael, because Larne have scored!
They've commissioned a really expensive sculpture to be built in the middle of a round-about, and it's Larne one, Bora Bora nil!

Michael: Unbelievable, Jackie. Unbelievable.
I can't think of anything more to say.
I quite literally can't think of anything more to say.