In praise of nuclear weapons

Nuclear weapons have secured peace in our world since the second world war. Right? Well have they?
They have stopped the countries who have them from initiating all out war on each other. But let's not start sucking each others' d**ks quite yet (to quote Vincent Wolf from Pulp Fiction)
There have been a lot of wars.
Korea, Vietnam, even Northern Ireland was a war, really, even though most people prefer to refer to it as "The Troubles", as if it was nothing more than a minor bun-fight between two neighbours about garden gnomes in their gardens.
Then there is Kosovo, Chechnya, Bosnia, and loads of those other countries who a few years ago were only interested in killing the Bejasus out of each other, but who now seem to be pretty astute at qualifying for the World Cup finals, to the detriment of Northern Ireland ( Slovenia and Slovakia qualified from our group, leaving us in fourth place). No wonder. Half our players play in the domestic league ( and believe me it is very domestic) and the rest play for second rate Scottish teams... Dunfermline, nil... Hamilton Academicals, nil.
I think when the next World Cup comes around, we should target our nuclear weapons (that is if Northern Ireland actually has a share of the UK's nuclear weapons, which I hope they don't... I mean could you imagine Sinn Fein and the DUP with nuclear weapons? The Shankill and the Falls would be decimated) target them on countries in our group with better football teams than us ( ie just about everyone).
Fire the nuclear weapons at them, which would have this dual effect.
We would kill most of their best players.
We would irradiate the area around their stadium, so games couldn't be staged there.
Then they would have to come and play in Belfast, and our home record is far better than our away record, so me might actually win for a change.
I mean you hear a lot of football pundits talk about tactics, and then you hear about tactical nuclear weapons.
I'm just suggesting we combine the two.
Can you imagine Alan Hansen?
" I mean you've got to admire the lad's tactics there. He's steamed in, nuked Sofia, and really, left the Bulgarians with no chance. Their supporters are all dust, and most of the team are suffering with such bad radiation sickness they can offer little resistance to Northern Ireland's otherwise rather weak opposition. Brilliant!"

Oh. Thought I would add this...just in case you're English!
.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-ajduHx5hc
I would have to warn you then if you are offended by swearing or bigots, do not scroll down the comments, because You Tube don't seem to be very good at editing out that sort of material. Also bear in mind that there is a soundtrack on this link, so if you are browsing this while you are at work, be aware of that.
Also, I would have to say, in this particular footage, Healy does look like he is a mile offside, but I have veiwed other footage of this goal, and, while it is a close thing, and hard to judge, he does look like he is just about onside when the ball is played through to him.
Try looking at this. It is hard to say if he is offside or not...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpD5SlNs2Ac