Christmas

Well, Christmas is coming, and with it, the prospect of spending lots of money just to re-assure people that you love them.
Why not show someone that you love them, by spending lots of money on a painting by me?
I can paint just about anything.
I was recently in negotiations with the Pope about re-painting the Sistene Chapel.
He wanted it all done in magnolia with a purple floral border just below the dado rail. But I talked him out of it.
I said, "Look, your Popeiness, people aren't going to queue for three hours to look at that.
What you want is terracotta, with a few stencils. Some ivy, maybe."
"Stencils?", he said. "I hope that Banksy character isn't going to be involved."
"No", I said.
"Because we can't be having that. Disgusting some of the stuff he does."
"Yes your Popieness, I am led to beleive that he is a Presbyterian."
"Well that explains it!"
"So I can call round with some swatches later on. There is a nice colour called "Midnight Autumn Dawn Rising Bunny Rabbits." You might like that."
"Yeah, whatever. Anything would be better than that tacky Michelangelo wallpaper we have at the moment."
"Okay. I'll go to B&Q and see what they've got."
"You do that Michael."
"You'll have to pay for the scaffolding hire, of course."
"Ule? Ule Bryner? Has he not been dead for years? How is he going to pay?"
"He left me a lot of money in his will."
"Oh. That's all right then."
The Pope is so gullible. You could paint gold yellow and sell it to him as string.

Well that's today's post out of the way fairly early in the day.

Seriously though, BUY A PAINTING.
You know it makes some kind of sense.