Poofs and sport

By our celebrity guest writer, Jeremy Clackston.

With the exception of figure skating and modern Premiership football, being a tip-toe-boy is still frowned upon in the macho world of sport.
This is largely down to communal showers and drinking habits. You don't want some fruit checking you out after the match and then ordering a pina colada in the bar later, when you only asked for a pint of ale when it was his round.
Do you, Gareth Thomas? No you don't.
Oops lads! Here comes Gareth. Bums to the wall! Ha ha ha!  I'm totally secure in my sexual identity, so wedging my head between other men's sweaty arses, voluntarily, every Saturday afternoon, doesn't bother me at all.