Well, I have just been to the theatre to watch "The History Boys" by Alan Bennett.
I have to say I have changed my opinion about Alan. Whereas I used to think he was good, I now think he is sh*te.
With onions.
It was possibly the worst thing I have ever seen, and I've seen Hollyoaks.
I would like to try to tell you what it was about, but it didn't seem to be about anything.
The acting was of the kind that made you want to just stand up in the middle of the theatre and shout," You're sh*t! Get off the effing stage you w*nker!"
The play itself was so dull it made an hour feel like a decade.
The funniest bit?
Someone said the f word.
The man beside me positively rolled about laughing at this point, as if saying the f word is in and of itself somehow hilarious.
It isn't.
The f word isn't funny on stage. The only people who can use it for true comic effect are soldiers and builders.
I have heard soldiers and builders use that word in a way that approaches fine art.
When comedians, writers and actors use it, it is just a cheap way to get a laugh.
One of the best ones I ever heard was when this guy I used to work with walked into the yard where there was a lot of rubbish piled up.
"Right" he said, "We need to get all this f*cking sh*t out of here."
Then his seven year old son walked into the yard and innocently said, " Daddy. Where's all this f*cking sh*t going to go?"
Now that was funny.
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