As if life's not bad enough.

Your parents decide to call you, "Dave".
And as you grow up, the resentment gradually accumulates, until at the age of about sixteen you suddenly turn around and scream at them, "Was that the best you could come up with?!"
I think it would be better to give children ridiculous names, like horses in the Grand National.
"And here we are now, it's Fuck the Pope followed by Alternative Carpark, and Touch Me I'm Sick in a close third. They come up to the first, and, Oh! Fuck the Pope has fallen!"
...Later in the race... " So it's Risk it for a Biscuit heading for the line, but Oh! What's this? It's Dave! It's Dave streaming through! And it's Dave! It's Dave for the National! And at the finish, Dave wins by a nose!"
... It's never going to happen.