I might give up being an illustrator and become a commentator's side-kick on TV football.

That is certainly the longest title I have ever given to a posting on this internet web log. And my footballing commentator side-kick alter-ego would feel obliged to chip in, "You're certainly right in what you say there, Michael. There's definitely no denying that he's used more words in that title than what he normally does."
I was just thinking about it as I watched the footage of Archie Gemmell's goal in the 1978 World Cup.
The commentator didn't have a side-kick in those days, and the commentary was fairly minimal.
"Here's Gemmell.
Gemmell.
Gemmell!
What a goal by Archie Gemmel!"
That, it seems to me, is pretty much all you need as you leap about the living room,cheering, up-ending bowls of crisps and tins of pop. But today you would get a little post-script from some inarticulate footballing has-been, along the lines of, "Gemmell has certainly gone through the Dutch defence there Jackie, and as you say, what a finish!"
We know that. It's TV. We just sat here and watched it happen.
So here's me back in the studio for the post-match analysis, with Alan Hansen on one side and Mark Lawrenson on the other.
"Well, for me, Gary, the BBC definitely sent too many men out there on first class tickets, to do nothing more than state the blatantly obvious. At the end of the day."
You never seem to see those jobs advertised in the papers. I have all the qualifications. I've even got a cheap suit.